TC Invitational Golf Tournament

TC Invitational 2007

Loire Valley, France

This year, 13 golfers and 11 spouses went to the Loire Valley for a week of great golf, relaxed sightseeing and fine dining. Most participants gathered on Wednesday September 19, 2007 in Paris at the Great Canadian Pub, which is owned by Mark Berry, the son of Mike Berry. It is located on the Left Bank quite near to Notre Dame. From there, fortified with a case of genuine Moose Head Lager, we headed off by limousine bus for the Loire Valley. John Bell and Stu McDowall were not able to join us from the outset, as they had to attend to a summons from the President of the Ivory Coast to receive the Sacred Order of the Rampaging White Elephant for service to the Republic. Stu and John are Honorary Consuls for the Ivory Coast in Calgary and Vancouver respectively. This meant that Stu was not in a position to defend his title as last year’s winner of the Vancouver Island round.

The first two days we stayed at France’s most famous and most difficult course, Les Bordes. Situated in the pine forest south of the city of Orleans, it is 18 holes of sheer terror with a slope of 155. Water everywhere to instill fear in golfers of every skill level. Even before we started, the constant refrain was “I just hope I have enough balls to see me through these two rounds”. However, with a bit of course management the opening round did not prove all that difficult. Art Perron shot a scintillating 84 the first day even though he was recovering from a cold and jet lag. In doing so he took the early lead in the fight for Mike’s Mug and was the early odds-on favourite to carry the trophy back to Ottawa. The weather was spectacularly fine, the course truly magnificent, and the greens lightning fast.

The spouses spent the day touring Orleans, the home of Jean d'Arc, and visited nearby Chateaux. The accommodation at Les Bordes was individual cabins set among the trees. The nights were dark and the air crisp so everyone got a good night’s sleep until a herd of deer wandered through the grounds rooting and bellowing as the bucks challenged each other. Everyone thought it was only Bill Clarke snoring. That night we had a wonderful meal in the club house where we relaxed and unwound over some fine French wines and apocryphal stories.

The second round was also played at Les Bordes under clear skies. Far fewer balls were lost during this round and the scores on the whole improved over the previous day. Leaping to the top of the leader board was Tom Tait with a fine round of net 73. Obviously the lessons he had taken were paying dividends. He was closely pursued by Art Perron and Roger Blake. After golf, we boarded the bus for a tour of Chambord Castle, built by Francois I as a hunting lodge, which, after completion, he only used a total of 73 days.

Our next hotel was the Chateau Sept Tours which is set in the middle of a golf course that proved to be a challenge for everyone, not so much because of its difficulty but rather because of the fact that the layout was quite confusing. Art Perron and Stu McDowall got totally lost during their round and this took Art out of the competition as he was unable to hand in a completed score card. He also got into a diplomatic spat with a number of French nationals as after holing out on hole #7 his foursome proceeded to hit off on the tee immediately adjacent to the green. This was however the 13th hole and the foursome ended up in the middle of a competition. This sent the group that came up behind into a dither and demanded that Art and the others get off the course. Only his diplomatic skills in the French vernacular quietened the aroused Frenchmen. But from then on the Canadians back swings were interrupted with yells of “olla”, “maudit” and “depechez”, and other expletives too rude to write. At the end of the third day Tom Tait had a commanding lead over his competition, or they who were left.

That evening we enjoyed a truly remarkable meal at the 3 star restaurant, Le Bardet in Tours. Eighteen of us showed up in casual clothes and the snooty waiters obviously looked down their noses as the other patrons were in business attire. A couple of us were either tired or out of sorts so gave what they knew would be a rich meal a pass. The fact that we had made reservations for 24 upset the owner to no end but Art Perron in his inimitable style was able to calm the waters. However, we more than made up for the six missing persons. Spread into two tables of nine, we ordered a couple of bottles of wine at one table to be told by the waiter that that was probably too much, thinking that as we had ordered the least expensive meals each, we would not be doing much drinking. Well that night Le Bardet learned that Canadians can drink. We had two magnums of champagne, courtesy of Charlie Kim, who was celebrating his birthday that day, 12 bottles of wine and six of water. When we left, the departure was somewhat warmer than the arrival, but only slightly.

The ensuing two rounds were played on wonderful, idyllic courses set in the French countryside near Amboise and Cheveney. Each was a good test. Amboise was the site of two firsts in our annual get-togethers. Stu McDowall, playing on the fifthteenth hole, a par three, pulled his tee shot and hit not one but two people waiting on the 16th tee box, Steve Kaufmann and Millie Conradi (wife of Axel). Neither was terribly hurt but Stu’s pride has been has been forever destroyed. On the “good news” side of the equation, John Bell fired an incredible 6 under par net to take the daily payout of 60 Euros for the very first time. Since joining the TC Invitational three years ago his game has continually improved as his knees have been repaired so that he can walk the course. Now if we can only get him to walk a little faster….

During our time on the golf course, the spouses continued to tour the sites in the region and also spent an afternoon at an exclusive cooking school where they learned some of the secrets of French cooking. We are all looking forward to getting home to see what they have learned.

In the end, despite slipping on the final day, Tom Tait’s (Sandra) lead proved insurmountable and he was awarded Mike’s Mug, thus keeping the trophy in Alberta for the second year. In second place was Roger Blake (Leena) and in third was Bob Fairweather (Kazue). Others who participated in this year’s event were: Bill Clarke (Elly), Milan Stolarik, Mike Berry (Anna), John Bell, Stu McDowall (Irene), Steve Kaufmann (Carmen), Axel Conradi (Millie), and Art Perron (Nicole). Rounding out our group were some friends, Don and Lois Martin and Charles and Jura Kim. It proved to be a magical week. The consensus was that we should return to an all men format for next year and it was thought that the Niagara Peninsula would be the ideal locale. The suggestion was that we hold the 2008 event in early June and it is hoped that many of our colleagues and friends will be able to participate in the search for Mike’s Mug.

Bob Fairweather


Addendum1, by Axel Conradi

Dear John,

I thoroughly enjoyed Bob Fairweather's largely accurate report of events in the Loire Valley. I do however feel complelled to set the record straight on one detail. There is no denying that Stu MacDowell hit Steve Kaufmann with his tee shot as evidenced by Kaufmann's convincing periodic transformation into a creature resembling the hunchback of Notre Dame. From subsequent utterings by The Linguist, I understand a law suit is in the offing the outcome of which may very well hinge on the abilities of the disputing parties to exaggerate. Now that will be a competition !

The first exageration goes to Steve Kaufmann who informed the insufficiently apologetic MacDowell that he had also struck my wife Millie. Millie denies this and is willing to so testify but only if proceedings are launched at the scene of the crime and her expenses to, from and in Orleans are fully covered. She certainly knows where to get a good expensive meal while there.

Axel

Addendum2, by John Bell

John,

Could you be so kind as to put another p.s. to Bob Fairweather’s brilliant essay on the TC’s golfing in France,

“I categorically deny that I was hit by a golf ball that Stuart McDowall hit on the hole before the one that Steve Kaufmann and possibly Millie Conradi were struck by a wayward ball, probably by the aggressive French players “en competition”. I was walking back from the hole to get my clubs and move onto the next one when I heard , I think, our leader quietly encouraging “ JOHN …HURRY UP” when I ball flashed by me, about 5 inches in front of me., about equidistant between my knees and my chest. I looked ahead and saw Stuart with that pleased look he occasionally has. Could Stuart have almost hit me, Absolutely not, why Stuart and I had just co-starred in the buddy movie “Road to Abidjan” And Stuart knows that I have a quite new knee and certainly do not need any new body parts, especially a part equidistant between my knees and my chest. I guess I will never now who hit that wayward ball 4 inches from me, but I have learned one thing in France, either I have to speed up or everyone else has to slow down on the course.

John Bell

Addendum3, by Stuart McDowell
John; I paid good "hush money" to have the law suit dropped, and now it is
in the public domain again. My defence will be to plead ignorance and
incompetence, and if I need to appeal, I will try insanity!! Cheers!
Stuart.

Comment, by Jim Elliott
Great to read of the French Golfing Expedition's contribution to Franco-Canadian relations. Our tendency to "dress down" on the road seems general. In Portugal, Joan Anne and I were helped into the Welfare Office in Oporto on our way to a Metro station. I am not sure whether the short-coming wqas linguistic or merely sartorial. - Jim